You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
