Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
