I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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