found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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