We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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