If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
