Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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