I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My balls are so social today.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize