How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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