I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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