There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he was CRYING into my vagina
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
