I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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