There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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