Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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