I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
