Barsexuality is the new black.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
