worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
