my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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