Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
smell my finger.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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