This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
