Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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