I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
