Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
