Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
