This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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