i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
