I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I woke up under a house in Key West
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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