She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
