haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
