so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Everything about him screamed your future.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
