I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I didn't notice because vodka
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
