so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
