Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
