No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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