He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
