Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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