I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
