Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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