p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
