I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize