i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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