you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
