You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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