You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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