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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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