Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
