Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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