she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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