well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
