did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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