I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
