Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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