Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize