My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
only if we run a train.
done.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
