Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
