ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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