youre lurking in front of me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
