They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
