butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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