Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
They took my balls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
