Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
