Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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