ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
