She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
