batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
