i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
