I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize