I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Drunk is not a location!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
